I'm convinced all guys are mental

So here's the scoop on what is going on in funkytown aka Philadelphia. As I continue to gain new girlfriends (my new BFF's name is Britt, go figure) and learn more about this city, I become more and more convinced that guys are just a waste of my time.
Why? Read on. Boy A, lets call him "Mike", is someone that I met about 2 months ago and has proved himself worthy of possibly being my boyfriend someday, good looks, awesome job, genuinely nice, perfect age (29) and loooooves Rusty. However, "Mike" does not "want anything serious right now" which we all know is code for "I'm just not that into you". But, he continues to call me to hang out and he even met my friends, including new BFF Britt. Of course, the friends love him and also deem him worthy. Since knowing him, he has had a birthday which he never told me about. You would think after going on 4, yes 4, dates with someone, you would mention your birthday was coming up. So he is now worthy of the title of hot retard.

Now there is Boy B, lets call him "Eric". I met him a week ago and at first I thought he was the perfect person for me. But in order for fate to play with my head, he ended up the complete opposite. We met last Saturday night, went on our first date sunday night, talked everyday until Friday rolled around then we went out onto our second date. This night is when I realize he is not only retarded, but directionally challenged, still in high school (mentally) and a huge honkin loser. When walking to the restaurant, he couldn't point to east (dad you would be proud of me for this) We were right next to the Delaware River!!! Which is connected to the Atlantic ocean!!!! And he lives on the other side of the river thus knowing that when he crosses the bridge, he is in east Philly (which is where we were) and if he just pointed to his house (which you can actually see from where we were) he would've pointed to east. Anyway, he couldn't point to east, which makes him dumber then me which is bad. For my hairstyle that night, I had the front part of my hair pulled back into a ponnytail on top of my head and this style needed a lot of product because of flyaways and some time to do it (i looked pretty cute). During dinner, this "eric" actually reached around the table and just like i was a 10 year old boy finishing a baseball game, used his hand to give me an "atta boy" and completely messed up my hair. WHO DOES THAT ON A ROMANTIC DATE???? he does apparently. I then proceeded to the bathroom to fix it, of course copping major attitude and then when i came back, he ran his hand down my face thus messing up my makeup!!! oh. my. gosh. Of course the part of me that few people see (some people might disagree with me) came out. Bitchy britt. Sorry anna, i know you hate that word, but it's true. She joined us for dinner that night. I almost left. At which "eric" proceeded to call me uptight. me? uptight????? This is guy just messed up my perfectly coiffed hair and then rubbed his dirty hands all over my face knowing i was beeing annoyed!!!!!!! Then...at the end of dinner, me trying to be nice, i offered to go dutch on the bill. he agreed. that's it, this guy is done.

So that's the end of that story. I felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld or something. The guy I really like doesn't want anything to do with me, the guy that really likes me, is still in high school. And i'm convinced that unless I want to date someone with the mentallity of a 16 year old, I am destined to be single forever. Which at this point, doesn't sound so bad.