hot santa update...

I went to the Steven Singer jewelry store to exchange the necklace I won, which the guy on stage that gave it to me said I could do and even included a receipt. However!!!! The stupid lady at the stupid store said they don't exchange jewelry prizes. SAY WHAT?!? Needless to say, i'm pretty bummed. So now I'm stuck with this downright expensive necklace that I'm not too fond of. According to my friend Caitlin, it looks like a grandma necklace. Do i pawn it? Sell it on Ebay? Give it to a homeless woman and write it off on my taxes??

Anyone want to buy a $1200 necklace from me for $1100??

Hottest santa...thats me thats me thats me

December 13th: Running of the Santas with a Hottest Santa contest which I just happened to win. In all honestly, I'm not sure how I won. I didn't dance and i didn't take my top off which means I should've been in last place right?? Wrong. I got up on stage, with a sweater on, and proceeded to take it off on stage and threw it to my friend in the crowd. According to a male dude after the contest, that act itself is what made me the winner. whatever, i'll take it. The prize? $1200 worth of jewelry from Steven Singer. I would rather have a nice fat check but i will never turn away jewelry. All in all, I'm a celebrity now, so please, no pictures.

some quotes from work

These are some quotes i've had recently from some co-workers..

(co-worker) "Do you smoke something before you come into work? crack? coke? Why u talk so much?" (ok, black co-worker)

(me) "no why? what'd you got?"

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(co-worker) "Hey brittnie, my son thinks you're hot."
(me) "oh yeah? is he hot?"
(co-worker) "he's 9."
(me) "so...single then?"

Alright Anna, I'll play...

Apparently this is some list of things that people around the world have done and whatever is in bold is what you have done. Who came up with this list anyway??? The things in bold are what I have done personally....i think, or something close to them and i'll annotate.




1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band---does rock band on PS3 count?? or guitar hero??
4. Visited Hawaii---not just visited...lived there. beat that.
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity--$250 to american heart association. why? dunno.
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain --mount rainer, didn't make it too the top tho.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch--the art of scrapbooking
15. Adopted a child-- slash puppy
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping ---sorry mom and dad
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen an eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run--it was an infield homerun but still and homerun and i got a pin!
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community-- on tv
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing wait
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight--almost, it was sunlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted well, it was drawn, does that count?
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- my barbies are still alive thanks to mom but some are RIP thanks to tyler and his BB Gun
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar-- not that bad really, i'm sure it would better with a milkshake
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone-- the doctor did it on purpose so it was intentional
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle --dad's scooter in hawaii, yes i remember.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life--welcome to my job
91. Met someone famous--Jared Header, Matthew Lillard, cuba gooding jr., tone loc, vanilla ice, rob base (just to name a few)
93. Lost a loved one--spanky
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person--there is no basement, i checked
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee --wasp, but whatever.

Just make the box alittle bigger.

I hate when you open a new box of Kleenex tissues, the first few that you pull to blow your nose rip into pieces. I'm sick of it.

My Halloween costume

So here's the story...I had to work Halloween night for like the 3rd year in a row and so I decided to reuse a costume I made a few years back when I was pregnant Britney Spears in the "Hit me baby one more time" era. I didn't tell anyone I was coming to work with this outfit on and when I walked onto the unit, I wish I had a camera to catch all my coworkers' expressions on their faces when they saw me.

In this picture is exactly how I walked into work. The reactions I got were priceless.



Sorry for the poor quality. for some unknown reason my camera wouldn't send the picture to my email. I have such a love/hate relationship with technology but all in all, I think technology just hates me.

Just a few "firsts" for me this past week...

For the first time, I ate scallops which were better then I thought. I also had calamari that wasn't fried (but left the suction cups) and Skate. Did you know Skate is the fin of a sting ray? Well, I ate it. And because I thought the name Skate was alittle weird, I decided to make it into a French word and pronounce it SkahTay. Yes I ate all this on a date, yes he is hot and 1000% Italian, yes he can bench 400 pounds (so he says but I wouldn't doubt it because he has a Redwood trees for arms)and yes he used to be an alter boy but no, was never touched inappropriately by a priest (had to ask).

Here's a pic that kindda sorta shows off my new cute earrings...

and just because I thought I was hilarious...

A bum came up to me and my friends the other night asking for money, but when he held out the cup to me that already had about 3 dollars bills and some change, I said to him, "awww!! for me??? You shouldn't have!!" Then I proceeded to laugh a lot and ignore him at which he walked away telling me I was mean. Yeah, I tend to crack myself up a lot. I should've gotten a picture of him.

World record breaking pinata my butt!!

All last week I heard radio announcements about the smashing of the world's largest Pinata to occur this past Sunday in South Philly (about a 5 minute walk from my place). So of course my friends and I go to see this HUGE pinata get smashed with a breaking ball. Now whether the opertor of the breaking ball was blind folded, I'm not sure, but I was kindda hoping he was just for authenticity sake. So the smashing was to occur at 1:30 pm. We waited and waited, got bored, took funny pictures and finally at 3:00 we were ready to leave because nothing was happening. Then some dude got on a megaphone and told everyone to leave the parking lot, the pinata won't be getting smashed afterall. What a waste of time! So needless to say, after a few hours of waiting for this thing to get smashed, all I got were some retarded pictures and no candy.

Drive by Rubbing

As I was waiting for a cab on the corner on my street, a white man with an English accent approached me to warn me about some black dudes that have been "rubbing" people lately. And I said, "Really? Rubbing? Are you one of those rubbers?" To which he laughed and said no to, and I asked again "Why would they be rubbing people? That's strange." He then told me to be careful and began to walk away. As he was walking away, I yelled, "Oh! Robbers!!!!" But I didn't take head to his warning because I couldn't stop laughing at the mental image I was having of two big black men coming up to people and rubbing their bodies.

Either way, I have to get some mase. Just add it to my Christmas list.

naturally awesome nature pics of awesomeness

I'm convinced all guys are mental

So here's the scoop on what is going on in funkytown aka Philadelphia. As I continue to gain new girlfriends (my new BFF's name is Britt, go figure) and learn more about this city, I become more and more convinced that guys are just a waste of my time.
Why? Read on. Boy A, lets call him "Mike", is someone that I met about 2 months ago and has proved himself worthy of possibly being my boyfriend someday, good looks, awesome job, genuinely nice, perfect age (29) and loooooves Rusty. However, "Mike" does not "want anything serious right now" which we all know is code for "I'm just not that into you". But, he continues to call me to hang out and he even met my friends, including new BFF Britt. Of course, the friends love him and also deem him worthy. Since knowing him, he has had a birthday which he never told me about. You would think after going on 4, yes 4, dates with someone, you would mention your birthday was coming up. So he is now worthy of the title of hot retard.

Now there is Boy B, lets call him "Eric". I met him a week ago and at first I thought he was the perfect person for me. But in order for fate to play with my head, he ended up the complete opposite. We met last Saturday night, went on our first date sunday night, talked everyday until Friday rolled around then we went out onto our second date. This night is when I realize he is not only retarded, but directionally challenged, still in high school (mentally) and a huge honkin loser. When walking to the restaurant, he couldn't point to east (dad you would be proud of me for this) We were right next to the Delaware River!!! Which is connected to the Atlantic ocean!!!! And he lives on the other side of the river thus knowing that when he crosses the bridge, he is in east Philly (which is where we were) and if he just pointed to his house (which you can actually see from where we were) he would've pointed to east. Anyway, he couldn't point to east, which makes him dumber then me which is bad. For my hairstyle that night, I had the front part of my hair pulled back into a ponnytail on top of my head and this style needed a lot of product because of flyaways and some time to do it (i looked pretty cute). During dinner, this "eric" actually reached around the table and just like i was a 10 year old boy finishing a baseball game, used his hand to give me an "atta boy" and completely messed up my hair. WHO DOES THAT ON A ROMANTIC DATE???? he does apparently. I then proceeded to the bathroom to fix it, of course copping major attitude and then when i came back, he ran his hand down my face thus messing up my makeup!!! oh. my. gosh. Of course the part of me that few people see (some people might disagree with me) came out. Bitchy britt. Sorry anna, i know you hate that word, but it's true. She joined us for dinner that night. I almost left. At which "eric" proceeded to call me uptight. me? uptight????? This is guy just messed up my perfectly coiffed hair and then rubbed his dirty hands all over my face knowing i was beeing annoyed!!!!!!! Then...at the end of dinner, me trying to be nice, i offered to go dutch on the bill. he agreed. that's it, this guy is done.

So that's the end of that story. I felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld or something. The guy I really like doesn't want anything to do with me, the guy that really likes me, is still in high school. And i'm convinced that unless I want to date someone with the mentallity of a 16 year old, I am destined to be single forever. Which at this point, doesn't sound so bad.

and now gifford...

I'm cracking skulls

Carly told me I needed to elaborate more on why I got to kick in her door...

So upon arriving to Carly's house, she realized she didn't have any keys to get in so she checked under some rocks looking for a spare (and of course I was praying she couldn't find it because she told me that if she couldn't find it, I would have to kick in her door). Much to carly's dismay and an answer to my prayers, the key couldn't be found and so I kicked in the door that enters the garage (not the garage door). And it rocked. And carly kindda made a little scream right after I kicked it and I said "What what what??? You said to kick to it in!!!" to which she replied with a look of astonishment "THAT WAS AWESOME!!" And that is my story. Now a funny picture of Tyler...



And now me...


And me again...

AWESOOOOOOOOME

Kicking in doors = coolest thing EVER. Seriously, you should try it. I'm going to start breaking into people's houses just to kick in their door. Carly, I'm addicted.

my momma said...

So mom told me to blog about me being sick. Yes I was sick pretty much all of last week, but most of the nights, not sick enough to keep me off the streets (as in I met up with friends for dinner...etc. Not hookin.) But then Friday came....and all devil's heck broke loose and I called mom and cried. I was so sick that I told I would rather go into work and work for FREE in lew of being that sick. If sick got sick, it would be THAT bad. Anyway...it was bad. But now I'm fine. Sorry for no pictures of the event.

To liven up your day...a quote from work...
After putting a catheter in a patient to drain her urine after having a baby (she was bleeding quite a bit), the patient was perplexed that there was no blood in the container, just clear urine. I then had to explain to her that pee-pee comes from a different hole then where the blood was coming from (she actually didn't know there was a separate hole for urine). She was 22 and just had twins and is now the mother of 3. We should pray for her.

Just like a scene from a Jim Carrey Movie

I actually had to have a price check at walmart today for nothing other than....an economy sized pack of maxi pads (for Rusty of course)!!! Apparently the bag was ripped right at the barcode and the cashier turned around to her coworker and yelled to her with the pads in her hand "I need a pricecheck on these". I just said forget about it, I don't need them. Then she turned around and THREW them into a cart behind her full of stuff that needed to be restocked onto the shevles. Since it was around 9 am this morning (yes 9 am. I had been up since 4:30 thanks to my F'ed up sleep schedule from going to 100% nights at work) there was only one line open and about 6 people in line who got to witness this. wonderful.

Quote from work

In the recovery room after a c-section, the patient's boyfriend asked me a very interesting questions...
"Is she going to be bleeding all over the furniture and S**t?"

I didn't even waste time answering.

ps. Rusty removed one of his stitches leaving me with only one more to remove. He did a pretty good job at it too!

You know you are old when.....

Someone drives by you in the city with their music turned all the way up and all you can think of is, "Wow, that is so damaging their ears."

What comes next? A new hip??? Jeez!!!!!!!

AC/DC Rules!

I wore my AC/DC Back in Black t-shirt into work today and on my way to the elevator, a guy in a wheelchair with Down's Syndrome was rolled by me by a nurse and after he passed me yelled "AC/DC Rules!" And when I mean yelled, he yeeeeeelled. It was so funny I laughed all the way to the third floor and during report.

And by the way, I'm repeating this story to anyone on the unit will listen and it's probably one of the highlights of my life. My lifelong goal is to lift the spirits of any mentally challanged person that is wheelchair bound.

Gym tourettes workout weirdo vocal freak guy

It seems like everyday, I find something new that bugs me. But this one is definitely one to blog about...
I went to the gym yesterday and EVERY elliptical was taken except for one (i guess it was prime time for gym going) and of coure 5 minutes into my workout, I realize the guy right next to me is "that guy". He kept yelling, VERY loudly, to get himself pumped about his workout. He kept yelling things like "woah! Yeah! That's what's up!!" At first I thought he was just getting really into the olympic swimming he was watching, but then he kept doing it during the commercials! It was at the point that he started yelling "Do it! Whats up now??? Do it!" and noticing everyone in the gym looking at him and subsuquently (sp?) me since I was a foot away from him, that I decided I was "tired" of the elliptical. No matter how loud your ipod was, you could hear him through out the entire gym.

I keep trying to come up with a name for this guy like workout weirdo or gym tourettes, but nothing that comes close to describing how weird and annoying he was.

Berries Berries Everywhere

I have some berries, called Pokeweed berries, growing in my backyard! And not just some, TONS. So I looked them up on the internet to see whether or not they were poisonous (just in case Rusty ate the fallen ones, we all know we don't need Rusty eating any more poisonous food!).
Well, sure enough, they are. Here is a copy of the description I found.

Pokeweed berries: Early September, 2003
The berries, though poisonous, are a source of a brilliant purple/dark red pigment used by natives to dye textiles and later to artificially color red wines (not allowed anymore due to the toxic nature of the juice). One of the toxic components found in the roots and in the berries causes clumping of the red blood cells and triggers abnormal division of, otherwise resting, B & T-lymphocytes.

What the crap!!!!!!!! I'm sure it won't kill you on contact, but from what the description says, they sound pretty bad. I should make a jam and give it to that Jewish princess girl at work.

Song of the week

I honestly can't stop listening to this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r23cm7bL9E

You can tell when I'm bored at work when...

A random picture of Rusty that my co-worker took in the car...



It's funny because it looks like he's smiling. He actually might be laughing at a joke I just told or one that he heard earlier that day. Or maybe he knew he was on his way to see Piper or saw a funny billboard. Who knows.

I did it all by myself

Yes, I joined a gym and my membership offcially starts today. Everybody, this is a first for me and I'm extremely nervous. A HUGE DEAL!

Also, Rusty has started a new game where he tries to grab the toilet paper out of your hand (with his teeth, not his paws) before you can reach your butt. I dunno...it's fun for him and semi-annoying for me but in the end, pretty dog-on cute.

Over.

interesting sign

So this is a sign for a company on my block, except I'm confused on what business this place in actually in.




You can go there for a workers comp case and get a colon cleansing? I'm sold!

Piper hearts Clara

I found this video of Piper from mom's computer that should definately be on someone's blog.

Last night

For dinner last night out with friends, I saw Yorkshire Pudding on the apps menu, so of course I HAD to get it to see if mom and dad do it right. As it turns out, not only do mom and dad do right, but they also do it better. It was still very good (I kept telling people that it felt like Christmas for some reason) and it came with shredded pit beef (not very good but Rusty loved it).

To top the night off, I took a cab home and the driver (with a heavy muslim accent) tried to convert me to Islam and after we arrived at my destination, actually said to me "So when can I see you again?" WHAT?????? So my response? "I guess if I ever get another cab and you happen to be the driver, then that's when you'll see me again. Good night!!"

And that's my Philly Fun!!!

Giff and his bag of tricks

So while I have my camera hooked up, I'm going to post Giff's throat symphony.

Doggie Autism

So apparently, one of the weird and out-of-the-ordinary things that autistic kids do is line up their toys. Peter Rosenquest was textbook for this, instead of reading all the I Spy books, he would open them up to a certain page and then line them all up on the floor. Well, I came home from work this morning to find most of Rusty's toys removed from their basket and lined up at the foot of my desk chair in my "office".

Hopefully you can see the linearism from the picture.

I'm a fat girl at heart

good: BLT's with no L and extra turkey B and extra extra T and extra extra extra mayo, at 7:30 am and 5:30 pm and enough turkey bacon left over for the next day's breakfast.

bad: cuts on thumb from cracking open someone else's crab for them to enjoy and spider bites that feel like those really deep pimples about a foot beneath the skin...it actually could a pimple. either way, puss came out when i squeezed it.

mom and anna...whats this impending talk? what did i say wrong this time??

and anna...whole wheat cookies??? that's like barfing during a roller coaster...went in it for the fun but it ends with a nasty taste in your mouth.

Okay, fine, fine, I finally started this thing called blogging. So welcome, hope you enjoy because from reading my blog you will probably only get dumber, or is it dumbber. I dunno.

Lets begin with Rusty, the gay dog. Yes, gay. And his "partner" is Piper, but he remains in the closet so I won't post his pic as to not out him. In celebration of expecting Rusty's homodogsexuality, I bought him a rainbow collar and proceeded to find him sitting on my bed with his legs crossed. Yeah, he's not fooling anyone. All in all, he's the coolest dog ever and I love him much.

After going on a trip to Texas to visit friends, I went home to MD to pick up my lil Rusty from mom and dad's. On returning home to Philly, I was redirected home instead of my usual route due to police cars everywhere and police tape and a news van. All this commotion was about 2 miles away from my apartment, so don't get too worried. Being curious, I drove around the blocked off areas hoping to get a glimpse of the dead body or robbed elderly couple or car with it's windows smashed, or something, but no dice. Also, since I don't have the patience to watch the evening news, I went online the next day (today) but couldn't find out what happened. rats. And speaking of rats...I've had the pleasure to see a true philly rat run across my street late at night one night and boy, if I put Rusty in front of it, the rat would've gone Pac-Man on him, one bite, that's it, Rusty would be done and the rat would be satisfied for maybe an hour. IT WAS HUGE!!!

Also, I must note. I have been trying to eat healthier lately, not to lose weight, but just to overcome the feeling of impended doom I have everytime i go to work and I walk up 3 flights of stairs. So i'm cutting down calories, eating less sugary crap and looking to buy an elliptical machine, because I'm also tired of feeling my thighs jiggle like mom's green jello with shredded cheese everytime I walk. It's not cute. My point is...I found english muffins that are only 100 calories! and you pair that with the Smart Butter that decreases cholesterol and is pretty tastey and sugar free preserves, It's pretty awesome!

I'll end on that.